A rose by any other name… June 20, 2006
Posted by swaberry in Uncategorized.trackback
All right folks, I need some help here. Here's the deal:
So far my new employment situation has been utterly smooth sailing–nice intelligent people, fascinating project, about the right level of challenge–with one minor but bothersome hitch: nobody can agree about what to call me.
I made something of a mistake of not making it explicitly clear when interviewing that I was to be called Lisa (in my defense, my name was only used once that I can recall, and it seemed silly to make a deal of it before I was even hired) but thought I had cleared everything up when I wrote a note expressing my desire to be called by my familiar name. Fine. Good. Right. Bye.
The only problem is, there's another Lisa who's been there two years longer. It may not have been an issue in such a large lab with a number of different projects and 20+ employees, except this Lisa happens to work at least some of the time on the same subproject within the group.
Now here's where you come in. It's become clear that having two people who go by Lisa is very confusing. And, as the new arrival it's only fair I should be the one to adopt a new title. So I implore you to put your elite liberal arts educations to work and help me out by providing some suggestions!
I'd like to mention that Jen has already put forth "Crap Bag" as a possible candidate, and while I appreciate her brainstorming efforts, I really don't think it captures the image I'd like to put forth. Also, I think that having 5 prenoms might just be a bit much. Therefore, let the rechristening commence!
As one who has personally encountered a very similar situation, might I suggest that you adopt the moniker “Other-Lisa?” It retains all the certainty and security of your adopted name, while adding a touch of mystery, a dash of duplicity, and a shade of disambiguation.
Alternatively, you could incorporate a symbol into your name, a la Prince, or perhaps a gesture. For instance, you might be known as “Lisa [raise back of hand to mouth] [whisper] Mary [drop hand] [resume normal speaking voice] Lindeke.”
Perhaps we could call you Ping.
No way! “Other-Lisa” is just as bad as calling something “cheese-food” or “wine-product!”
Not that you’ll take any of my suggestions seriously, but could you use a similar form of Elizabeth, like Elise or something like that?
Also, it’s SO not fair that you have to be the one to change your name. As I stated before, the other girl has been called that for two years already and it’s clearly your turn!
What about “Joe”? Is there another “Princess Consuela” in your office? “Sandrine” is nice until it starts to sound like the name an industrial solvent. I would suggest “Ruth”, but then I can practically hear the Mah Jongg tiles. Or maybe “Rain”, but then you sound like someone who has your own kiln and made your skirt out of wheat. Maybe you should just go with “Phoebe.” Or “Phoebo”. Or “The Hulk” or “Gene” or “Chandler.” Some very intellectual friends of my aunt and uncle are expecting their first child soon, and it came up in conversation that one of the girl names that they were considering was “Aristotelia”, so maybe if you want to style yourself as an intellectual you can go with something along those lines: “Socratesia”, “Plata” (pronounced PLAY-ta), “Virgila” (vir-JEE-la), or “Homera”. You could go biblical with “Bathsheba” or “Jezebel”. Or literary with “Clytemnestra”, “Lady Macbeth”, or “Lolita”. (“Lolisa”?) But we all know you’ve been saving the name “Emma” since you were eight years old.
It couldn’t be “Joe.” She’d have to get in line or go by “Other-Other-Joe.” Two degrees of otherness, eh?
If not that, I would suggest “Butch” or “Killer.” After a few days, maybe the other “Lisa” would “relinquish” her “claim” to that “name.”
I’ve got it – clearly it needs to be Eustacia.
Sam-well done.
Wait wait wait…are you congratulating Sam on his new name suggestions or suggesting a hyphenated, first and last name? I hope for your sake, and in accord with my quest for a pun-free existence, that you meant the former.
I was merely expressing how impressed I was that he managed to squeeze all those Friends references in.
Also, I just watched the “oh my God, that is BRAND NEW INFORMATION!” episode. Watching Friends by myself just isn’t the same…I miss you guys!
I KNOOOOOOW!!!!!!!
Liza!
close but not too far, so you will answer to it.
I’m going to start calling this “Doorknob Ankle BLAH” if you don’t update soon!
Obligatory Friends Reference: “I see your lips moving, but all I hear is BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.”